James hated Jacob. Everyone in the
third grade hated him. As a parent who hated an eight-year-old, James felt sad,
pathetic and righteous.
Jacob was a kid. A very bad kid; he bullied, lied, taunted,
teased, backstabbed, stole, manipulated and had an irritating voice. He had a
sadistic streak that impacted James’ daughter, Anna Bee. She often came home
from school with “Jacob stories” and James did his best to teach her ethical
and responsible ways of dealing with the boy including having him over for a
play date, inviting him to her birthday party and generally showing good faith
for a potential friendship. Sometimes these gestures worked and Anna Bee
enjoyed time with Jacob. Sometimes he played well and this gave them all hope.
Until, like a cobra, he struck
again.
There was no way to bypass these
negative interactions except to stay away from the boy altogether.
Anna Bee liked to work things
through with friends, and had a strong moral compass so it was hard for her to
just back off. After several more attacks, she figured it out and the
acquaintanceship ended for good, but she felt bad.
James said, “Anna Bee, there will
always be “Jacobs” in life and we all must learn how to deal with them. It
isn’t easy and we should stick closer to people who are really our friends and
care about us. Jacob simply isn’t one of those people and you have done nothing
wrong. You tried your best and you have so many other great friends.”
So this story could end nicely
right here, but it won’t.
James harbored quite a bit of
resentment toward Jacob and his parents. As much as he understood the
psychological underpinnings of such behavior he felt like this subversive
bullying touched many kids. Every time Jacob’s name came up in social settings
parents would groan and shake their heads in frustration. These were parents
from varied cultures and economic backgrounds. Jacob was a non- discriminating bully:
he spared no one based on race, creed or ethnicity.
Bearing witness to all these
parents and kids whom James very much enjoyed, he wondered why the family, or
Jacob, was never held accountable by the school. Yes, the incidents were sort
of below the radar in terms of the Department of Education’s rules and
regulations on bullying and the nature of how they were reported regarding
witnesses, but one had to wonder why nothing seemed to change.
How did this kid keep getting away
with this shit?
Until one day James got called into
the Principals office. There was an incident. Anna Bee was sitting quietly with
friends and Jacob began to taunt her. It was done in a sociopathic jocular way
so it passed as humor. Anna Bee went to the art table and drew a picture. It was of a large brown Grizzly bear taking
a bite out of a boy. There was lots of blood and dismembered limbs and the boy
was shrieking in pain. She entitled the piece: “Grizzly Bear rips apart Jacob
to DEATH FOREVER”.
The Principal felt this was an
inappropriate, cruel drawing and when Jacob saw it he broke out in tears.
Poor Jacob.
As James sat there listening to the
Principal, he silently high-fived Anna Bee in his mind. He thought she did a
great job on the drawing and the sentiment was appropriate.
Enough was enough.
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