In.no.cent. adj. 1. free from moral
wrong. 2. not guilty (of a crime, etc.).3a simple;guileless. b pretending to be
guileless. 4 harmless. n. innocent person, esp a young child. inno.cence
n. innocen.cy nin.no.cent.ly adv.
adj. virtuous, moral, righteous,
good, pure, chaste. 2 guiltless, blameless, (in the) clear 3 a unsuspecting,
unsuspicious, ingenious, trusting; naïve. b demure, coy, meek. 4 well-intentioned,
safe, tame. n. infant, babe, child; ingénue, virgin.
What is defined above encapsulates
some of my subconscious ideal beliefs about us. Our little group. Little, intimate, protected. Idealized. A giant everlasting embrace.
Where did this come from?
Generations proceed us and protect us (and lie to us).
If it is not us, it is someone
else. Another family, another time and broken. Not innocent.
Treasure this. If not, together, holding hands we will jump
off the 10th floor balcony with a fantastic view of the ocean as we
fly.
We are together.
Shag carpeting in both bedrooms.
Pink & yellow. The giant beanbag chair and Dior Rose comforter and brown
velvet love seats. Innocent. Before the
kissing, the sex the heartache the space that separates us from each other in
passionate dirty confusion. Like the first time I saw Playboy magazines in
Dorie Rivkin’s basement. A woman with huge breasts in blue water with her
blonde hair floating around her head and in front of her face; not anything
holding her back, or down. She is smiling seductively and I know that it she is
not smiling at me, but at someone else. Maybe I knew she was smiling at me and I could
feel it. I think she was smiling at Dorie’s dad.
(Not her mom.)
Floating.
A special secret smile.
And there is a scene going on outside,
poolside. Like something out of The Graduate with Mrs. Robinson and her friends
wearing leopard skin print bikinis and sipping cocktails. This is not a typical pool party for us, but
we were invited. I don’t feel comfortable and something is off. I’m a little scared and want to go home.
No comments:
Post a Comment