#35 A Persistant Sound You Cannot Find The Source Of

You will not believe this, but for the past hour, at least, a car alarm is hogging up the air with its howling barf. It isn’t the 90’s anymore when this sort of sound barf was typical and we all just waited for some asshole to stumble out of a bar or noise proof apartment and aim his (yes, HIS) little remote at the offending obnoxious vehicle and end the nasty sound garbage that fills our ears and brains and there is no reason for this to be happening in 2014. 

I even heard an adjacent neighbor yell, “shut up!”

It didn’t work.

I know the source of the sound but I do not know from where it comes, precisely.

It is a car. What street? I don’t care. It is close enough to hear it like a throbbing headache. Throb. Throb. Throb.

Pause.

Tricked you! Throb again, again, again.

Oh, stop. Please.

Christ in Heaven Above, it is 45 minutes later and the car is honk, honk, honking without taking a breath to recoup. Why must we be punished in this way, Dear Lord? What are you trying to teach us? Please tell us in words, not sounds.

Oh, and thank Ye for the rain that fallest upon the earth right now to provide a holy buffer to the Sound of Ye Car Alarm.

I repent I repent. No sin shall emanate from my being ever, ever, ever, beep, beep, beep, again. Never. Christ Almighty. Praise ye.

The sound has ceased. The rain is beating down in springtime cheer. Relief, oh Lord! Praises unto Thee. Praise the final cessation of Thy Car Alarm.

I have listened and obeyed. I bow unto Thee and Thy Devine….

You tricked me, Oh Lord. You have perpetrated further Car Alarm pulsating madness upon me and my brethren. We  hear you.

We hear the car alarm.

We hear the car

The alarm.

Alarm

Fuck.

It has stopped.